What If
by Reana1
Summary: We always make the yugioh characters - how do I put this delicately, gay. How would they react of they found this site? In this one-shot, hilarious fic the Yugioh characters find and explore FF.net! Come see THIER reaction to OUR stories! Reana


~*~Once upon a time, I was talking on the phone with the Best Friend Lorah. She was giving me heck for being obsessed with the pairing Joey/Seto because she is utterly disgusted by it. Anything yaoi or shonen ai disgusts her. Well all of the sudden it hit me. What would Joey and Seto think if they read my 'For Mokuba' shonen ai fic? Come to think of it, what would any of the Yugioh characters think if they read a lot of the fanfiction stories!!!! Let's face it fellow authors, we're sick minded - he he he and we love it! But here's a little bit of humor coming your way as the entire Yugioh gang gets aquainted with Fanfiction.net. Hope you like it! R & R, Reana.~*~  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the Yugioh characters blah blah blah . . . . we all know what the usual thing is, don't sue me.  
  
APOLOGIES!!!!!!: I may refer to one or two fics in here that aren't mine. I AM NOT FLAMING ANYONE'S STORY!!!!!! If I read them I probably loved them, just please don't get mad at me!!! Just accept it as free publicity, K? ^_^ Please, don't hurt me! Sigh. I can see myself getting flamed for this.  
  
The Yugioh Character's Go to Fanfiction. Net  
  
"Hey guys come see this!" Yugi exclaimed excitedly. The vertically challenged teen was sitting in front of a computer in the corner of the actors lounge. Also in the room were Yami, Joey, Seto, Mokuba, Ryou, Bakura, Mokuba, Mai, Tea, Tristan, Serenity, Ishizu and Duke.  
"Yugi, it's our break." Yami complained from where he lay, spread out on one of thier numerous couches. "We only have half an hour before our next call." Here the leather clad boy put a weary hand to his head. "Another dueling scene. I love dueling, but we've done this scene nine times all ready and they still want to do it again!"  
"Anything for our adoring fans." Mai smiled from where she sat, lounging in a comfortable chair.  
"Easy for you to say, your not a main character! You don't have it nearly as hard as I do." Yami frowned.  
"Maybe so, but when I am working I work hard." Mai protested. "I mean, looking as hot as me isn't all that easy, Yami."  
From over in the corner Yugi broke out into hysterical laughter. Everyone's heads turned curiously, but Tristan was the only one who actually got up and went over to look at what Yugi was doing. "What's up, Yug?" Tristan glanced at the screen and after a few minutes was infected with whatever had possessed Yugi. Holding his sides he managed to gasp. "What is this?"  
"It's called Fanfiction.net." Yugi chuckled. "A sight where people on the 3D side of the screen can write stories about us!"  
"And this girl claims to love Seto Kaiba? She's just cruel! Hey, Kaiba! Get out your mini computer and check out Reana1 in the Yugioh section of fanfiction.net!"  
Seto all ready had his laptop out and was typing madly. The others crowded around him, but there wasn't enough room on the couch so Tristan, Yami, Tea, Malik, Ishizu, Marik, Ryou and Bakura leaned over Yugi while Joey, Serenity, Mai, Mokuba, and Duke squished onto the couch with Kaiba. He gave them all evil glares before returning his gaze to the computer screen. When they reached the story that Yugi and his group were now laughing hysterically over. "THAT IS SICK!!!!!!" Kaiba shouted as the people around him burst into laughter. "THIS IDOIT TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!!!!!!" Mokuba was the only other person not laughing. "This girl who writes this needs some serious help."  
"I'll kill her!!!! This is disgusting! I'm going to crash this site till I've deleted that story." Kaiba went to carry out his threat when suddenly Joey, who was sitting right beside him, batted his hands aside and grinning said, "Hold on moneybags, I wanna read this."  
"You can read?" Kaiba sneered, beginning to type again.  
"Hold on, Kaiba! Just let us skim the first chapter! I'm like a main character in this story!" Mai and Joey thefted the computer and began to skim through the story, reading some of the funnier parts out loud while Kaiba's face burned red.  
"Kaiba in a mini skirt with a thong wedged up his butt! I can just picture that!" Joey received a disgusted look from Kaiba and the blonde's face colored. "Uh, I mean, I'm not picturing it or anything. But ah, it's funny ya know. Uhhhhh . . . ."  
"Shut up Wheeler."  
"Ya Ok."  
Mai had erupted into gales of rippling laughter. "I got to take him bra shopping! This is hilarious."  
"Enough!" Kaiba wrestled the computer away from her. "This is a sick! I refuse to listen to this girl humiliate me!"  
  
On the other side of the room Yugi and his gang were scanning through various other stories, reading the descriptions and skimming through some. Tea was feeling extremely damaged. "Why does everyone keep killing me?" She complained. "Everyone hates me!"  
"Not true!" Yami said pointing at the screen. "See."  
Tea gave the screen one glance and then screamed in terror. Her high pitched voice made everyone slap thier hands over thier ears, giving Serenity time to steal the lap top from Kaiba. "It's a love story about me and Kaiba!!! They paired me up with Kaiba!!!!!"  
"Me too!!!!!" Serenity dropped the laptop and leapt off the couch. She ran over to Tea and the two clung to each other, giving Kaiba terrified looks. "How could they do that to us?" The two girls whined.  
Mai had taken over the computer and was scanning through the story by Godlet2b. "Ohhhh, but it's such a cute romance story! Both Mokuba and Kaiba are in love with you, Serenity! But Kaiba won't admit it! Oh it's so sweet!" While she, Duke and Mokuba eagerly ate up the story on the laptop, Kaiba and Joey held a very impressive staring contest. "You keep your filthy hands off my sister!" Growled the elder Wheeler.  
"It's a fanfic, mutt! I'm not after your disgusting sister!"  
"Are you calling me ugly?" Serenity demanded from across the room, throwing a cushion at his head. "You jerk! You're not worthy of me anyway!"  
"You tell him Serenity!" Duke cheered. He was rewarded with a bright smile from Serenity and a glare from her older brother.  
At Mai's mentioning of a sweet romance involving Yugi, Yami and Tea; Serenity, Tea and Ishizu joined her on the couch, forcing Mokuba and Duke to retreat to the other computer where the other's(excluding Joey and Seto who were still arguing on the couch) were entranced by a fic with very violent duels, 'The End of Egypt: Yami Vs Hikari'.  
Suddenly Tea began to scream angrily at the laptop computer. "There they go again! Killing me!" She raged. "And why! Just so that Yugi and Yami could . . . ." Her eyes darted back to the screen and widened in shock. "Holy crap - they're gay!!!" Everyone stared.  
"What!" The two aforementioned boys asked. Immediately they darted over to the laptop to see. Tristan took over the computer and began to type furiously.  
As the two vertically challenged teens skimmed the story the dialogue was as follows:  
"I DID WHAT?!"  
"Yugi if you every try that, I swear I'll -"  
"Sick! If you ever to THAT to me I'll - I'll, that's just disgusting!"  
"That is NOT why I wear tight leather!!!!!!!!"  
  
Back at the other computer Duke suddenly started to chuckle loudly.  
"What's so funny?" Bakura frowned. Duke pointed to a specific line and a sly grin spread of the tomb robbers face as he read it. "Ahhhhh, so that's why Seto always calls Joey a dog." "Why?" Joey asked curiously, getting up and moving over the computer, closely followed by Kaiba. "Did you just call me Seto?" Kaiba demanded coldly as Malik and Ryou greedily took his and Joey's spots on the couch.  
Bakura shrugged. "Influence of the story. You get called that, among other things, a lot in here."  
"Why does Kaiba always call me a mutt?" Joey peered over Tristan's shoulders.  
"Uhhhh, Joey I don't think you should read this!!" Tristan warned, covering the screen with his hands.  
Joey brushed them aside. "Let me see!"  
"I tried to protect you." Tristan sighed.  
"Protect him from what." Kaiba leaned over top of Joey to get a better look at the computer screen. Suddenly the blonde gave a loud shout and he jumped, his skull colliding his Seto's jaw. "Fuck!" Kaiba swore. He grabbed the front of Joey's shirt and jerked him forwards, staring down at him coldly. "Listen, mutt if you ever -"  
"Get your hands off me!" Joey screamed over top of Bakura's wild laughter. "Don't touch me! And most of all, don't kiss me!"  
Seto and everyone else, excluding Bakura who was having a humor overload and Tristan who knew what was happening, stared at Joey like he was a mad man. "Bein' Dead Ain't Easy. In the later chapters." Tristan volunteered, the people at the lap top immediately typed it in the story's name and headed for the ending chapters.  
Meanwhile Kaiba was reading the lines that had scared Joey so much. When he was finished he looked down into Joey's honey brown eyes and held his gaze for a few fleeting seconds - then flung him across the room. Joey hit the wall with a crash and landed face first on the floor. "ME AND HIM!!!!!" Kaiba began to swear violently. "IF I EVER CATCH WHO WROTE THAT I'LL KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"You might be killing a lot of people, Kaiba. You and Wheeler are definitely one of the most loved pairings out there." Duke sneered. "Right under Ryou and Bakura of course."  
Bakura's head snapped around. "What?" he glanced over at his hikari. "Ryou what are you reading?" His light had taken possession of the portable computer and was blushing slightly as he and the others read what it displayed. He tried to switch stories quickly as his yami strode over, but wasn't quick enough and the former tomb robber was soon scanning the screen. He looked down at his light with a worried expression. "I don't think I'll ever be able to feel safe sleeping in the same room as you again."  
Ryou's usually pale skin had turned a bright pink. "It's just a fan fiction! And besides, I'm always the innocent one!"  
"Hey! Quit hogging the computer." Malik complained, taking it from Bakura and searching for a story, he found one and began reading. As he did his eyebrows rose. "'It's not what you wear, it's how you take it off that counts'" He quoted, then glanced over at Marik thoughtfully. "Yes you would say that wouldn't you, though I'd prefer if you didn't say it to me." Marik shrugged. "No worries, apparently I already have something going on with Kaiba there."  
Kaiba made no reply, due to the fact that he engaged in a furious fist fight with Joey. The martial arts expert had no trouble knocking the street boy off his feet, but was slightly impaired when Joey dragged him to the floor with him. The two tumbled around, bumping into furniture and swinging blindly at each others heads. "All right. Enough is enough." Ishizu frowned, she stomped over and managed to stand between the two of them. "All right children, two meter distance at all times." She commanded, spreading her arms out to give them the approximate distance. "And no more fanfiction's for either of you. I think they are a bad influence on you two."  
Joey turned a bright crimson. "ISHIZU WE WERE FIGHTING, DAMMIT!!!!"  
"You were rolling around on the floor," Ishizu said, trying very hard not to smirk. "if you boys want to play then do it in another room please."  
Kaiba pulled a gun of his white leather jacket. "You're pushing it Ishizu."  
Ishizu frowned at the gun. "Is that thing loaded?"  
"Do you want to find out?"  
Quickly the Egyptian turned and walked over to Yugi. "Two meter distance." She called over her shoulder. Kaiba and Joey each went to separate computers and glared gloomily at the screens, both had lost thier appetite for fanfictions.  
"Me and Kaiba!" Ryou was shouting at the screen. "No way! This author is the only one who got it right!"  
Tea raised one eyebrow. "So, you hate Kaiba because he's so abusive. But you love Mokuba because he . . . ." Tea blushed and stopped reading. "No!" Ryou shouted shaking his head wildly. "That's not right at all! These people are messed up!"  
Suddenly a robotic voice sounded out over the intercom, calling the needed members of the Yugioh cast over to were they would be shooting that day."  
"Lets get out of here!" Yami said, getting up and waiting by the door.  
  
Yugi nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, if I read one more fic where I get killed or am gay I'll go crazy."  
Yami nodded. "Agreed. I'm sick of reading about me being paired up with Kaiba, he's my second cousin for Ra's sake!"  
Joey nodded as he followed behind them. "Those people are majorly messed up. If you think about it, when they are pairing you two up they are really pairing Yugi up with his great x100 grandpa!" Yami and Yugi turned and stared at him. "What?"  
"Let's just accept that and move on." Yugi sighed.  
"Hold it!" Marik called, as the two turned to leave. "We're coming too."  
Yami, Yugi, Marik, Joey, Seto, Ishizu, and Bakura trooped out the door.  
  
Serenity waited till Kaiba had left before saying whimsically, "Kaiba left his laptop, oh what a shame."  
The remaining cast split themselves into two groups. Duke, Mokuba, Ryou, Malik, and Tristan crowded around the computer in the corner. Serenity, Tea and Mai shared the laptop on the couch.  
"Why do these people insist on making me a pedifile?" Mai asked. "Why is it always me and Joey!"  
"Because you two are adorable together." Serenity smiled, beaming down at one of the many Joey/Mai fanfictions.  
"Be happy Mai." Tea grumbled. "At least when your included people aren't trying to kill you! Tea bashing is considered a major sporting event on this sight!" The girl's expression brighten as Serenity clicked on a Tea/Yami fic where the author mentioned that she loved Tea and couldn't understand why no one else did. "Ok, lets read this one!" She smiled. "I want to finish the Serenity/Seto/Mokuba fic!" Mai insisted. "It's so adorable! And all of us are in it."  
Tea grew suspicious. "And the author isn't striving to kill me in this story?"  
Mai shook her head. "It's mostly about Serenity and the Kaiba brothers. But me and Joey are in it. And there is scene of you and Yami."  
"Ok." Tea agreed. "Lets read it."  
Serenity was already waiting for them to read so she could scroll down the page and finish. "I'm not portrayed as the innocent airhead other people see me as, but I can't help but feel very abused. I've died - twice!"  
Tea nodded sympathetically. "I feel your pain."  
  
Meanwhile, across the room the boys eyes were bulging as they read a story by Jasper-Sable called 'Ultimate Betrayal'. "I'm like, the only straight one in this fic!" Tristan exclaimed.  
Mokuba had a look of deep psychological pain on his face. "What has she done to my brother? And why is he always paired up with Joey?!"  
Malik, however was nodded appreciatively and looking quite thoughtful. "I never though of that! What if Joey's nice guy act was all a front and he was really even more evil than even Seto Kaiba." The other boys squeezed together on the far end of the couch they had dragged over, as far away from Malik as possible. Malik frowned. "Oh get over it! The rest of the world thinks we're all gay! There isn't one fic out there that doesn't have at least one yaoi pairing." "Ours doesn't!" The girls called.  
Tristan glared at the screen as he searched for another fic. "I'm not in any of these! Everyone ignores me!"  
"Not true." Tea interrupted from across the room. "I found a really captivating fic where you committed suicide in Godlet2b's favorites. Pheonix Firerose was the author I think . . . ."  
"Thanks Tea, I feel so much better." Tristan said dully, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Ryou suddenly spotted a fic and insisted that Tristan choose it. "Weaklings, by Mirrollin." They opened it up.  
Ryou stared at it sadly. "Why?! Why is it always me and Bakura?"  
"It's not always you and Bakura." Malik said, wrapping his arm around Ryou's shoulders. "There's a lot of you and me out there too."  
Ryou jumped up quickly. "That's sick!"  
Malik shrugged. "According to fanfiction.net your quite the whore, Ryou. You've had sex with ALL of us, Ryou. You're not as lucky as me though. Most people over look the fact that Marik is technically only 5 years old and I'm 16. So I get to be a pedifile as well as gay!" He laughed dryly. "Don't I feel special?"  
"I'm getting out of her!" Ryou ran towards the door.  
"Wait for us!" Tristan said as he and Duke followed Ryou out the door. "Well," Mokuba grinned at Malik slyly. "I guess we've got the computer to ourselves."  
Malik nodded. "Let's find a half decent fic to read."  
Mokuba agreed. "Some of these people have real talent!"  
  
Three minutes later the members of the Yugioh cast who had been called away returned. "You're still reading those?" Bakura exclaimed as he Ishizu, Yami, Yugi, Joey, Marik and Seto came in. "Hey, where did everyone go?"  
In answer he got a very stern lecture from Tea. "You jerk! If I would have know how you treated Ryou! It served you right when he snapped on you! I can't believe what you've done to the poor boy!"  
"What are you talking about?!" Bakura snapped, looking down at the infuriated brunette.  
"I'm talking about you constantly beating on poor Ryou! It's a wonder he's still alive!"  
"Tea." Yami interrupted.  
"Yes?"  
"It was a fanfiction."  
Tea crossed her arms and frowned. "And it was absolutely heartbreaking! Where is Ryou anyway!"  
Malik laughed sneeringly from where he and Mokuba where reading. "He left."  
Joey rolled his eyes. "I don't even want to know what you did to scare him off. But that's his loss. We've got the day off so we're going to the bar - and the drinks are on Kaiba!"  
Kaiba's protests were drowned out by the cheers from the cast. "Fine, but you'll have to wait a few minutes." He reclaimed his laptop from Mai and began to type furiously. After a few minutes of silence Serenity asked. "Um, Kaiba. Watcha doing?"  
"I'm deleting a certain Kaiba girl fanfiction and arranging the assassination of Reana1."  
  
~*~The things you write when your bored on a Friday night. He he. I found it amusing. But I was a little harsh. I want you to know that I do realize that there are plenty of fics out there that don't have yaoi and I am not calling everyone sick-minded. If you think I was calling you a bad writer or something please don't flame me because I wasn't. I wrote this souly for my amusement and decided to post it just incase someone else liked it to. If you did feel free to review. And if you insist on flaming me then please make sure you tell me in detail exactly what was wrong with my fic and sign in so I can email you a reply. Reana.~*~ 


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